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Ever do a search on ex’s to see how they’re doing and think, oh my god, thank god I got out of that? Turns out that two guys that dumped me went from being super hot punk rockers to hipster faggots. What happened?
Well not really. I can’t complain because I deployed in the winter time, and I work night shift. It’s like a nice 70°F every day for me, and I can go to the pool and sun tan when I get off shift when it’s more like 95°F. Free wifi, free food, free room and board with air conditioning. I’m not even in a tent.
The guys that I work with complain every day, however. They’re all sick of each other. They wake up together, eat together, go to work together, go to the gym together, and sleep together. Some of them even have days off together. They’re all packed into one hallway. I guess because I’m in the female dorms I don’t get to see them as much. And yet I’m over here clinging to them like a barnacle every chance I get because they call me “sister” while everyone else on this base looks at me like the hyena’s from Lion King during the “He’s a big pig” skit.
And it’s not just because I’m alright looking. It’s every female on the base. I’d rather be on the flightline in my coveralls with my hair fucked up and belching loudly because most strangers assume I’m a lesbian or crazy and it’s great! But if I leave my room in shorts and a tee shirt, it is the most awkward feeling in the world. Suddenly I’m a “desert girl.” Which is apparently an easy girl because as soon as girls go to the desert it’s a big free for all and we’re all the same way, right? The guys back at Beale even talk about “desert girls” and “you should see what they wear over there!” I can understand maybe in the summer time when it’s 120°F girls would wear skanky stuff. But right now, it’s normal wear. Sometimes you’ll see the yoga pants girl or the itty bitty shorts girl or girls that have to change because their boobs are falling out. But I still get ogled for wearing baggy sweats and a baggy tee shirt with my hair in a bun.
And of course I can’t complain about getting ogled at, right? Because all girls want attention, right? Or I should wear something more covering even though I’m in a motherfucking desert, right? That’s what the natives do. I should just turn off my northern upbringing and Irish heritage and adapt overnight to how these people dress after they’ve been living here for millenia. Ugh. Furiously ignoring everyone around me at all times when I’m outside sucks.
But other than that, it’s not bad at all. I got such a sweet tan going on.
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